How to Push Through Negative Self-Talk
You know me. I’m not afraid to be honest. The honest truth is a daily battle of mine is negative self-talk. I’m pretty sure we’ve all been there. That moment when our inner voice becomes our worst critic, telling us we’re not enough, or that we can’t handle what’s in front of us. That negative self-talk can knock us off track if so easily. But here’s the thing—I know for a fact those thoughts don’t have to define us, and we can push through them.
1. Recognize When It’s Happening
The first step is simply noticing it. My therapist really helped me understand this simple practice that can make a huge difference. When those negative thoughts start creeping in, stop and pay attention. It’s easy to let them run wild if we don’t even realize (or acknowledge) they’re there. Start by catching those moments when your mind says, “I’m not good enough,” or “I’m never going to figure this out.”
2. Challenge What You’re Telling Yourself
Once you recognize that negative voice, ask yourself—are these thoughts really true? Are you truly incapable, or are you just afraid? So often, our inner critic exaggerates things and makes us believe lies. Don’t just accept those thoughts—challenge them. Remind yourself of all the times you have shown up, learned something new, or made it through tough situations. Recalling those moments reminds you that you’ve pushed through before and can push through again.
3. Flip the Script
This part takes practice, but it’s powerful. It hasn’t been easy for me to achieve success every time with this one, but I keep at it. When those negative thoughts start, flip them into something positive. Instead of “I’ll never get this right,” say, “I’m learning, and progress takes time.” Instead of “I’m a failure,” try “I’ve faced challenges before and grown from them.” The more we practice replacing negative thoughts with positive ones, the more natural it becomes. It may sound silly or too simple but the reality is, many times the best solutions can be the easiest ones.
4. Be Your Own Cheerleader
Listen, we’ve got to start giving ourselves the same grace we give to others. You wouldn’t tear down a friend for making a mistake, so why do that to yourself? Self-compassion isn’t weakness—it’s strength. It’s how we fuel ourselves to keep going, especially on the hard days. Again, this takes practice, but the benefits are so powerful.
5. Stay Grounded
When things start to spiral, sometimes the best thing to do is pause and breathe. Be present. Take a minute to remind yourself that one bad thought doesn’t have to shape the whole day. Focus on what’s in front of you, and remember, you’ve got the power to reset your mindset at any moment. For me that means I may just have to find a dark, quiet space and just sit in silence. Just to let the noise and busyness disappear for just a moment so I can reground myself in the REALITY of the situation and not just what I’ve created in my head. It’s crazy what a little less stimulation can do when things feel like they’re spiraling.
At the end of the day, negative self-talk is just noise. It does NOT get to determine your worth. You do. And you have everything you need inside of you to push through and thrive.
