It Matters. Don’t Let Them Tell You Otherwise
Let me start with the most important thing:
Your pain matters.
Your emotions are real.
What you’re feeling is valid. Period.
I’ve learned something through my own journey in therapy, and I want to share it with you. There’s a phrase that’s haunted me for as long as I can remember. It shows up in those moments when I’m brave enough to open up about what I’m feeling, only to be met with responses like, “Well, it could be worse,” or, “Others are going through much harder things.”
When I hear those words, I immediately shut down. A wall goes up, and distance grows.
I understand the sentiment. It’s about staying positive, looking on the bright side, finding a silver lining. But here’s the truth: ignoring the hard stuff doesn’t make it go away.
For much of my life, I was taught—sometimes by loved ones, sometimes by my faith, and often by my own thoughts—to bury the hard stuff. When someone told me, “It could be worse,” or, “Don’t worry, God will handle it,” I internalized a dangerous message:
What I’m feeling doesn’t matter.
And so I shoved it down. Again and again.
But one day, in therapy, I heard something that changed everything:
“Don’t ever compare your pain to someone else’s. What you’re going through matters. Yes, some may have it worse, but that doesn’t mean your pain isn’t real or valid.”
I can’t tell you how freeing it was to hear those words.
For the first time, I realized it’s okay to feel. I don’t have to live in my pain, but I’m allowed to acknowledge it.
So, does someone else always have it worse? Sure.
Does that mean your emotions don’t matter? Absolutely not.
I had a friend who went through a heartbreaking loss. He told me he felt like he didn’t have the “right” to feel the way he did because others had been through worse. And all I said to him was, “Whatever you’re feeling right now, it’s valid. I’m here for you.”
A few days later, he told me how much those simple words meant to him. Knowing it was okay to feel his emotions gave him the freedom to process them and move forward.
That’s the power of validation.
So if you’re reading this and you’re struggling today, hear me loud and clear:
Don’t let anyone tell you your emotions don’t matter.
Feel what you’re feeling.
Embrace it.
Work through it.
Yes, life is hard sometimes. Yes, God allows difficult seasons. Yes, it can be overwhelming.
But you matter. Your emotions matter.
And don’t you dare let anyone tell you otherwise.
